A Sermon by Pastor Tom Lacey . . .

one plus one plus one equal one

Matthew 18:10-14, Preached at Congregational Church of Boca Raton, May 18, 2008

Two men were sitting next to each other at McGreevy’s Pub in London. After awhile, the one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.' The other responds proudly, 'Yes, that I am!' The first one says, 'So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?' The other answers, 'I'm from Dublin, I am.' The first one responds, 'So am I! Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?' The other bloke says, 'A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old part of town.' The first one says, 'Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?' The other bloke answers, 'Well now, I went to St. Mary's, of course.' The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?' The other fella answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.' The first one exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!' About this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a drink. Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.' Vicky asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?' '’Cause the Murphy twins are drunk again.' Unlike for twins, finding someone who is just like us is quite difficult.

Our text is about God finding us even when we are being difficult, or perhaps just different. But being difficult is most often in the eye of the beholder. What if we could just be ourselves, our good, well-meaning selves, and even though we might be difficult or different to others, it would still be alright. Things would work out. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? But too often, my being different from you and you being different from me turns into difficulties and then into disagreements and then into dramas. As Emerson wisely said, “We cannot easily forgive another for not being ourselves.”

The way to do things is to recognize the difference but instead of letting it lead to difficulties, value diversity. I know, this sounds easy. We all know that trying to value someone else’s different viewpoint on something important is difficult. Ask any husband and wife, brothers or sisters, roommates, anyone living closely with another person, which leads to some rather silly observations about men and women, such as: Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
What did God say after creating man? “I can do so much better.”
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.
What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says…."

These are fun and funny. You know, the thing is couples, sadly, get divorced over their differences. Family members stop talking to family members over differences. Friends are no longer friends because of differences of opinion on matters. Yes, there are times when we have to break ties with someone who has traveled far outside what we can accept, but much too often this is not the case. We are simply having differences of perspective or poor communication or an inability to empathize with someone else’s life and values. We don’t have to win every battle. So let them go a little bit more often. Don’t just dive into what the problem is but lay some groundwork of kindness. Try to value what’s different in the other because God could have made us all the same, but obviously that’s not the plan. And if God has to accept us with all our wrinkles and warts, then we need to go further in that direction toward others—a lot further. As scripture says, “Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.” Rev. 13:10

What we want to see this morning is that diversity isn’t a bad thing; difference simply requires dialogue.

If we want to find contentment with others we need to communicate. We understand that the pen is mightier than the sword on the big stage of history, but the truth is that in our own little lives, words wound just as swords draw blood. I don’t think it’s an accident of the English language that word and sword are so close in spelling. So be careful how you communicate. There is a time for building up and a time for tearing down, as Ecclesiastes says, but nobody says we have to give them equal time. Give God some working room between you and someone else. Bear a burden of silence when someone is pulling your chain. And then forgive that person, so that when it is time to speak your mind you are speaking your peace, not just your piece.

In our text we see Jesus go after the lost sheep, the one that’s in trouble. You never know, this may have been the third time in the last two days that sheep took off. That may have been the sheep causing the shepherd the biggest headache of all, but he still goes after it. My point is that nobody you care about isn’t going to cause you some pain, and the same is true of you as well to someone who cares about you. We just simply don’t agree or have the same values or look at the same situation from the same viewpoint with anyone else all the time or on all the important issues. And this can be very, very difficult. We want to be together, but even though this is our expectation, it is an unwise and unreal expectation. We are different from each other! We come with different agendas, different needs, different energies. And these will either lead to difficulties or dialogue, negativities or negotiations. We shouldn’t remain blind to how important something is to someone else. Find a way to settle what causes you pain. Look for a win-win way through the mess. Open your eyes to how important the issue between you is for both of you.

A nurse remembers a pop quiz during her second month of nursing school. She says, “I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: 'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?' Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'. I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.” Truly seeing someone else is a great step.

Jesus chose both Simon the Zealot and Matthew the Quisling to be in his group of followers. Simon was an ultranationalist radical and probably terrorist, who hated Rome, the Roman occupation of Israel, and anyone who betrayed Israel to Rome. You might see him as a Sunni Iraqi terrorist or Al-Quaeda member. Matthew was a Jewish tax-collector who worked for the Roman authorities and made his life from the occupation. You might see him as a police officer in Baghdad or Mosul, Iraq. You wouldn’t want to have these two completely opposite people in one tent. But Jesus did. Jesus never gave any indication as to who he thought was closer to the truth. He just knew God had to be in this mix, and therefore so did he. Wherever two people are together, God is trying to work things out because no matter how similar they are, they are still different; and no matter how different they are, they are still similar.

An Indian sheep farmer had a big problem. His neighbor's dogs were killing his sheep. It got so bad, he had to do something. So he examined his options. First, he could have brought a lawsuit and taken his neighbor to court. Second, he could have built stronger fences so the dogs couldn't get in. But he had a better idea. He gave some lambs to his neighbor's children. When these lambs began to multiply and their little flocks began to develop, the neighbor tied up the dogs and his problems were over. As Jesus said: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons and daughters of God.” Peacemakers are simply bad at math. They don’t do division at all. They refuse to subtract. They are really only good at addition, but even at this they are suspect. This is because peacemakers keep adding new people, new voices and new concerns and still don’t get past number one. One plus one plus one equal one. Peacemakers believe we are all in this together.

Many years ago an Episcopalian priest told a story that happened while he was leading a tour of the Holy Land. He and his parishioners were bouncing along a lonely dirt road when their Palestinian driver slowed to a stop. A flock of sheep was blocking the road. Behind the sheep a man stood yelling and beating them with something akin to a leather whip. He was trying to make them move on ahead. Dismayed, the priest commented to the driver, “This is contrary to everything I have ever read in the Bible about a shepherd. I thought a shepherd was supposed to lead and the sheep would follow.” The Arab driver smiled and said, “He’s not a shepherd. He’s the butcher!” Yeah, we don’t want to get these two confused either. So don’t be a butcher of relations. Rather be a shepherd. Keep constant love for others as love covers a multitude of sins. Share your life without complaining about the costs. Whatever gifts God has given you should be used in service to others, like a good steward dispensing the grace of God in its varied forms.1 Pet 4: 8-10, NEB

On this Trinity Sunday, when regular math doesn’t apply, when one plus one plus one do still in spirit and truth equal one, we celebrate diversity, difference, and dialogue. These aren’t matters of mere political correctness. This is the way life is. This is reality, God-inspired, God-ordained, God-given reality. It was Henry Emerson Fosdick, the celebrated Presbyterian pastor, who prayed: “Lord God our Creator, when you made all creatures great and small in their rich diversity you were so delighted. And when you made human beings (in your image) to be so diverse, they must represent somehow the rich diversity of the Godhead itself. Lord, our Redeemer, when Jesus Christ died to draw all unto him, it was in prospect of heaven being populated by people from every tribe, language, nation and race. Lord, help me to appreciate all this richness.” This is our prayer not just for a nation, or a town, or a church, but for each of our lives, even for those who are closest to us, most like us, and whom we love the most. Let us appreciate the richness of our loved ones, what they bring to the table of our lives. And so we pray: Help us, O Lord honor those who while so similar to us are still so wonderfully different.

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