A Sermon by Pastor Tom Lacey . . .

Creator As Life Shaper

Genesis 28:1022, Preached by Tom Lacey at Congregational Church of Boca Raton, August 6, 2006

A little old couple walked slowly into McDonalds one evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples there. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking. "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!" The little old man walked to the cash register, placed his order, paid for their meal. They took a table near the back wall and took the one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink and placed it on the table. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink; his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As the man began to eat his few bites of hamburger the crowd began to get restless. Again you could tell what they were thinking. "That poor old couple. All they can afford is one meal for the two of them." As the man was eating his French fries, one young man came over and offered to buy them another meal. The old man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing everything. Then they noticed that the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite but just sat there watching her husband, occasionally taking sips from the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy them something to eat. No, they were used to sharing everything together. As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin the young man could stand it no longer. "Ma'am, why aren't you eating? You said you share everything, then what’re you waiting for?"  And she answered, “The teeth.”

Alright, so take away the gross part about the teeth, and you have a cute little story of two people who have shared and shaped their lives to fit one another. God gives us more than the breath of life; God gives us a breadth of life. We are born in a certain country, learn a particular language, live in that special house with those unique smells, activities, and now memories. While we are all created in the image of God, according to his likeness, which makes us out to be created equal, we also get to be different, unique, and special. We shouldn’t deny what is distinct and special about ourselves. Stand out and hold onto what is important to you. Accept being different, for that is a blessing, though perhaps in disguise.

When I was eight-years-old, my family, including my parents and three brothers, drove up to Tomahawk, Wisconsin, stayed in a cabin on the Three T’s property, and spent a week on the lake with my dad trying to teach his sons to water ski, playing shuffleboard with my brothers, going downtown and shopping with my mom, eating Friday night fish fries and having Saturday night prime rib with the whole family. To get there you have to cross into the north woods, and you know you’re there when the air smells different, with so many pine and birch trees filling the air with their clean, refreshing smell. There is the Windmill ice cream store that serves the largest scoops for the smallest amount of money, and where Cameron hopes to work one summer. I learned to water ski there, and now I’m pulling my children on inner tubes and trying to get them to water ski, with a little success. For the past thirty-three summers, I have made the pilgrimage without fail. For vacation this summer, we left South Florida, flew to Chicago, packed into a car and drove the five hours north. It’s amazing the power of a place, and the memories. When I turned the car left off of Highway 51 and onto Point of Pines Rd, immediately I was on vacation. I could feel my shoulders lighten, my chest open, and concerns wash away. I have never felt it as strong as I did this time, so strong that it made me stop and think why. And then I realized how much my family and I had been through in the last year. My grandma died a year ago June, Marit’s mom died January, Bob Alward, the minister I grew up with at my home church, and a friend and mentor to me passed away two months before the trip, and then John Shaw, my colleague here for ten years and our dear friend retired and moved to New Hampshire. I really needed to turn onto Point of Pines Road. God is so good to shape our lives so that we have special places and memories, which have amazing power to gladden our hearts and stir us to new life.

What we want to see this morning is that God gives us a lot more than just our single solitary life. God creates life, but also shapes it in a certain way. We are given a home with a history, surrounded by a family with feelings, and embraced by experiences that we remember and rely on throughout our lives. Though we may come into and depart from this world one by one, even these singular experiences are brushed with the comforts and consolations of those whom the Creator has given us. God doesn’t just give us life, but gives us a life. What I’m saying is: Thank God, and I do mean thank God, that we’re not alligators. We don’t get deposited and buried in the sand and have to run to the water before we’re speared by big-beaked birds. God shapes our lives by the innumerable goodnesses that make up the whole of our lives.

In our scripture, we see a man, Jacob, who is now without a home, a family, or a country. All he has is his life and his father’s blessing, which he stole from his brother with the help of his mom. So on this most alone of nights, Jacob falls asleep, his head on a hard stone, and dreams a dream in which the Lord visits him, telling him that he is “the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and your offspring.” There are two things we learn from this. First of all, Jacob, it turns out, is not alone. You can run but you cannot hide from God. Throw it all away, steal, cheat, lie, hurt the ones who love you, just make a total mess of everything God has given you, but if you’ve still got breath in your body, God still wants to shape your life for the good. I know, it’s one of God’s annoying little habits, always showing up right around the corner, just when you made a real doo-doo out of things.  

The second thing we learn is that not all is lost. Look: Jacob’s history remains. He’s still the third in line, after Abraham and Isaac, which means that God’s faithfulness is greater than our unfaithfulness. And if God is faithful to our past, then you can be sure God is faithful for our future. Jacob’s future is promised. You see: Just having life isn’t God’s only will for you. You are meant for more. We don’t always see nor understand these things. We don’t always get as much time as we would like for ourselves or our loved ones in this world, nor do we always rise to the heights we may have imagined, but the Lord should never be underestimated. God has a way of delivering the goods. By means of us or in spite of us, God’s will be done.

Some people are all for this. Others have a tougher time. Some people invest. Others divest. If you’re alone at night—married or unmarried, divorced or single, widow or widower, it doesn’t matter, you can be alone anywhere—sitting on the couch, watching tv, feeling the breath of life escape like a tire’s slow leak, then you’re missing out on the second essential element to God the creator: God wants to shape your life in such a way that, like Jacob, its positive effect will spread across the lives of dozens, even hundreds and, who knows, perhaps thousands of people. In other words, we are to have spiritual offspring who are blessed because we accepted God’s shape for our lives.

So what’s stopping us? Perhaps several things, but for this morning, we will focus on just one. It’s called baggage. It’s the past. It’s what went wrong with our lives. It’s the dark side of the coin of memories about homes, family, growing up. Life isn’t all about going on vacation, is it? Take a look at Jacob again. He’s the grandson of the Father of three faiths, the great Abraham. That’s a lot to live up to. But it gets tougher than that. Abraham is the one who took his son, Isaac, walked him to a mountain, tied him down on an altar and was about to murder him as a sacrifice to God, before an angel put a halt to it, and showed him a ram instead. Poor Isaac. That’s got to put some psychological scars on you. In fact, after this episode, he is never mentioned at his father’s home again. He immediately leaves, never to return to his father or mother’s side. And Jacob, Isaac’s son, spends his whole life growing up in competition with his very different, quite hairy brother Esau. They fight inside the womb, fight on the way out, grow up with different friends. Eventually, Jacob commits a serious crime against his brother, which causes his departure. Baggage!

They had it. We’ve got it too! Each one here can immediately bring to mind the battlefield. It could have been your abusive dad, neglectful mom, mean brother, strange sister, predatorial uncle, bitchy aunt, the bully next door, the teacher who had it out for you, the system, too high of expectations, too low of expectations. People could have meant well, but didn’t know the pain they caused. And now, you get angry, sad, forgetful. You’re shy, tough, tragic. You’re not especially friendly, overly solicitous, greedy. You have too high of expectations of others, require too little of them, feel as though you can’t find the right balance of respect and patience. You’re not a bad person but you want to be better, happier, healthier, calmer. In fact, you’re a good person, a godly person, and want the Lord to make something special out of your life. But we have to do something about the baggage. Either we can keep or we can remove it. It’s easier to keep it.

The person who keeps holding on to the past reminds me of a farmer who inherits forty acres. The first ten acres is planted with corn, the second with green beans, the third with soy beans, and the forth and last with weeds. He is very glad with the inheritance until he sees the final ten acres of weeds and he gets cross. “It’s not right,” he says to himself angrily. Every day he walks through his inheritance to see his crops and weed his weeds. But when he sees the weeds, he gets mad and can’t get himself to do any work. Now every night those weeds grow and grow and take over more and more of the other acres. Until finally one day the farmer steps off his back porch to look at his forty acres and his first step lands in weeds.

Our baggage causes us grief. It brings others pain as well. The more baggage, the less blessings. Instead of bringing joy to others, we perpetuate what we received. It’s time to let it go. But how? It’s one thing to lose the baggage of bitterness and forgive our enemies. It’s another thing to do it the way the grandfather of author and comic James Thurber did it. When he was on his deathbed, Thurber's grandfather was asked by his minister, “Have you forgiven all your enemies?” “Haven't got any,” said the old man. “Remarkable!” the minister said. “But how did a red-blooded, two-fisted old battler like you go through life without making any enemies?” Grandfather Thurber explained casually, “I shot 'em.” Doesn’t sound all that bad, does it?

The first thing when it comes to the nasty past is a question. Do you really have the room for the baggage in your life? Do you have the time it takes to keep up the fight? One thing we can do is to surrender, to give up the fight, lay down arms, and admit defeat. I know it sounds, well, defeatist, and strange, as if there was an actual battle back then. But that’s what happened. So now it’s time to face the truth. You were beaten by a stronger, older, meaner adversary. There is no shame in this. But, now here’s the better part, just because you lost back then, doesn’t mean you won’t win today. They got what they got, but today is a different day. Don’t let people take from you what they can’t get at, unless you let them. Grant them a reprieve. Commute their sentence. Be the governor of your life. Remember the executioner has to be in the jail cell also, but the governor has a nice mansion, beautiful office, and lots of power! That’s who you want to be! That’s who you are.

Forgive if you can. Be merciful, to yourself as much as to someone else. And beware of the innocent ones in your life. Anger at the past doesn’t stay in the past. It will be used against people who are innocent of the charges we still carry in our hearts. Remember: Everybody is flawed. Lower your expectations of others and you will find yourself standing surer and steadier on your own feet. Mercy and compassion are essential to forgiveness. So extend mercy to others, and thereby be merciful to yourself. Abandon anger and bless with joy those who share your life today. Embrace forgiveness and find a new empowerment to become all that you ever wanted to be. It’s never too late for God’s shape to take shape in your life.

Return to Sermons (table of contents)

Return to Homepage of the Congregational Church of Boca Raton