A Sermon by Pastor Tom Lacey . . .

THE POWER OF FRIENDS

John 12:1-8, Preached at Congregational Church of Boca Raton, March 2, 2008

A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became a bit hungry and thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using." It’s difficult to know who’s really a friend and who’s just someone who wants his bowl back. Erma Bombeck said, “A friend is somebody who doesn’t go on a diet when you’re fat.” That’s not just a friend, that’s a close friend.

Our text is about friends and the need for friends and the power friends give. Now I’m not just talking about being friendly, which is fine. Our passage shows something more. The day before Jesus walks into Jerusalem for his Holy Week, his last week, he spends the night at his friends’ home. Mary, Martha, and Lazarus are Jesus’ dear friends, and they throw a dinner for him. Of course, God doesn’t need a dinner thrown for him, but Jesus of Nazareth did. We aren’t talking about powerful friends; they couldn’t save him from his Good Friday fate. But we are talking about friends who gave him strength. Jesus needed friends, and so do we, which sort of reminds me of a woman in Switzerland. She left over a half-million dollars to a houseplant. This millionaire, from Geneva, once described her newly rich jade plant as her "best and only friend." She is believed to have conversed with the plant for the last five years of her life. Friends are good for the soul, which means we need more than a plant for a close friend and we need to be more than just friendly to all people. To someone and for ourselves, we need to invest more and make more of a fuss than we normally do. As scripture says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother (or sister) is born to share adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 So make a friend and keep your friends. Do not forsake them nor forget those who are close to your heart. Enrich yourself by sharing in the lives of others. Make someone else’s life better by sharing yourself. Help your friends and let them help you when in need. As scripture says, “Two are better than one …. if they fall, one will lift up the other.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

What we want to see this morning is that we all should have good friends, which also means we should be a good friend to our friends.

Much of the gospel is seen as the call to be friendly or kind to people, for example, our loved ones and even and more impressively strangers, and people who are perhaps truly “strange” to us. It is naturally tough to be a friend if you are not at least friendly to people. Today we are not disagreeing with this; it’s just that friendliness is one thing, kindness is an important thing, but the whole call of God is not this. Jesus did not say thank you for being friendly to me. He said, “I have called you friends, and that is what you are.” What is the difference? Being friendly doesn’t take a true commitment. You make a gesture. You express good will toward someone. They appreciate it and you have some satisfaction. But being a friend, a close friend, doesn’t mean you will both always win. It means that if your friend is sad, you are sad, whereas being friendly means if the other person is sad, you try to lift their mood. Being friendly means trying to lift the other person up to your level, whereas being a friend means you may have to go find them and be with them where they are. Rev. Dr. Maxie Dunnam says he loves the hymn, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." But he says he likes to turn it around and say what a Jesus we have in friends.

The friends of Jesus may not have had much to offer, but they had themselves. They gave Jesus a meal. They cleaned up after him, which allowed him to teach. They gave him a place to relax. Mary went further and shared with Jesus her precious ointment, ointment she may have been saving for some other type of special occasion. None of them could save him from Friday night, but they showed how much they loved him. He had their friendship, not always perfect, but friendship nonetheless. It was precisely what Jesus needed. On the eve of his crucifixion, Jesus met with his disciples in the Upper Room. He shared with them many things. These things make up about one-fourth of John’s Gospel, and you can read them in chapters 13 through 17. That eventful night Jesus conferred upon his disciples the highest honor they could ever receive. Jesus said, "You are my friends ... No longer do I call you servants … but I have called you friends…." John 15:15 A little while later, when Jesus knew that Judas had left to find the authorities, and he was to be arrested, he asked Peter, James and John to come away with him a little further from the other disciples. There wasn’t much more he could say or do, so he made a simple request: “Stay awake with me.” Jesus needed friends.   

The word sacrament comes from a Latin word used for the loyalty oath a Roman soldier took to the emperor. A soldier took a sacramentum to serve the emperor faithfully, even to death. Similarly, when we drink the cup and eat the bread, when we receive the sacraments of Communion with Christ Jesus, we are renewing our commitment to be faithful to Christ, to be the type of friend who would sacrifice him or herself for this friend who has already done so. I know that sounds like a lot, but I believe we are closer to this type of loyalty and love than we often admit to ourselves.

Harry Truman was an interesting character. He was “the last one to have owned and worked a farm and one of the few who never went to college.” During his presidency he had to make some very difficult decisions. As expected, he disappointed many people and left office in 1952 with a record-low approval rating. He moved back to his home in Independence, Missouri and, became, in a very real sense, a common citizen. He was a man of routine and many mornings he would take a walk with his neighbor, a Presbyterian minister. They developed a friendship. The minister tells the story of a cold, February day late in Mr. Truman's life. The minister was officiating at a burial service for an elderly gentleman. It was cold, the wind was blowing and literally no one showed up for the service. But just before the appointed time Mr. Truman's green Chrysler pulled up, by that time driven by a single Secret Service agent. Mr. Truman got out and slowly walked, with the help of a cane, to the grave side. With only President Truman in attendance, the service began and ended quickly. On the walk back to the car the minister looked at Truman and said, "Mr. President, why are you here? It's cold and bitter. You shouldn't be out!" Harry Truman looked at him through his very thick glasses and said, "Pastor, I never forget a friend." David McCullough

What are friends? Friends are fun people, whom we respect, who have similar interests, from whom we get energy, who are nice to us, upon whom we depend, and with whom we share our lives. Friends: Fun, Respect, Interests, Energy, Nice, Dependable, Share—FRIENDS! Now how cute is that? You know, you can’t be a friend if you don’t know how to have fun. Nobody wants to hang around someone who complains all the time and sees the negative angle to everything. There is nothing wrong with having fun, being funny, and taking things lightly. Be a friend, have some fun. A friend is someone you respect. It may be the way they run their family or their business, or how they talk to children or help at a homeless shelter feeding the people who depend on that help. If you don’t respect someone, sooner or later the friendship will fall apart, and it should. That is not the right person for you. It’s important that we find people we can share our interest with. Don’t take on someone else’s interest just to have a friend, but do what you find interesting and there you will make friends. Be yourself and you will find good people to share the same interests. A friend is someone who builds you up, even when you are way down. They give us energy. If you are going to be a friend then make sure you help someone when they are in need of help. Give your time and energy to getting them back on their feet. Accept this help from your friends when you’re feeling confused. One of the saddest things is to see someone who has a friend who is mean to him or her. Friends are friendly; they are nice to their friends; they don’t use them as emotional punching bags. Nobody needs to be a whipping boy for someone else to be their friend. When we are friends, we are dependable. We are someone who can be counted on to help out in a pinch, to lend a hand, to go shopping for something at the last minute when you are throwing a party, for picking up your child from school when something has come up. Friends are dependable because they are trustworthy. And last, friends share. They share sugar or eggs, but they also share their lives, the good times and the bad. We let them in, and they let us in to see the real person. When it comes down to it, a friend is a witness for our lives. Someone who watches us and sees our goodness and our attempt to be good, our struggles and challenges, and even our failings, and says, “Here is a good person. Here is my friend.”

What would we do without friends and family members who care and undergird us with strength when we need it? It’s true, they cannot perform a miracle and make us well again when we are sick. They can’t bring back a loved one who has passed away. But friends can offer a ministry of presence. They can be there when we need them, and that means a lot. Of course they actually have to be present to be present.

For a certain 95-year-old woman at the nursing home, that was the issue. One day, she received a visit from one of her fellow church members. “How are you feeling?” “Oh,” said the lady, “I’m just worried sick!” “What are you worried about, dear? You look like you’re in good health. They are taking care of you, aren’t they?” “Yes, they are taking very good care of me.” “Well, what are you worried about?” the visitor asked again. The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and explained. “Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I’m afraid they’re all wondering where I went.”

Make friends, be a friend, keep your friends. Enjoy the fun of your friends. Share your life with others. Put some time and energy into their lives, and see how much better yours is. Be nice and do nice things. Be someone others can depend on when it comes to the little and big things in life. May God bless you with many friends, and may you be a friend to many.

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